oh, honey.QUESTIONABLE. legendary.SOLID. 7.4/10. we should talk.BRUTAL · 4/5 🔥 iconic, actually.NUCLEAR · 5/5 🔥 oh, honey.QUESTIONABLE. legendary.SOLID. 7.4/10. we should talk.BRUTAL · 4/5 🔥 iconic, actually.NUCLEAR · 5/5 🔥
outfit feedback that isn't a lie

roast mydatefit.

drop the pic. we'll tell you the truth — kindly, or not. you pick the temperature.

4.8★ on the app store50k+ fits roasted0 compliments wasted
legendary, actually
oh, honey.
3.2
brutal
solid 7.4
9.1
iconic
🔥 5/5 nuclear
✿ +3 fixes
finally, someone in my pocket willing to tell me the jacket isn't working.
the roast made me laugh. then change. then laugh more.
coach mode read me like a magazine. i felt seen. i felt seen kindly.
it told me one of my shoes was loud. it was right. they were loud.
how it works

three taps.
zero white lies.

no questionnaires. no measurements. no "tell me about your style." just a photo and a vibe.

1

snap the fit.

full-length, decent light, mirror or otherwise. no filter — we'll see right through it anyway.

10 seconds, tops.
the evidence
2

pick a vibe.

coach if you want notes and a redemption arc. roast if you want the truth read like a magazine column.

try both. we dare you.
pick a vibe
coach
honest. helpful. won't make you cry.
🔥
roast
no mercy. no manners. all heart.
3

get the receipts.

rating, brutal truth, color story, three actionable fixes, and a verdict you can show your group chat.

framed-worthy stuff.
7.4/10
solid.
The proportions agree with each other — which is also the problem.
two minds, one app

same fit. two reactions.

flip a switch and the whole tone changes. one feedback, two ways to hear it — depending on what you can take today.

✿ coach mode

honest. helpful.
won't make you cry.

a thoughtful read of your fit. notes you'd give a friend if you actually wanted to help them.

"the proportions are right, the palette agrees with itself, and nothing fights for attention — which is also the problem."
  • specific, actionable styling notes
  • color harmony score & palette
  • a redemption arc — what to swap, roll, button
  • signed: your coach. xo.
vs.
your call
🔥 roast mode

no mercy. no manners.
all heart.

the verdict your group chat is too polite to type. front-page ruthless, surprisingly fair.

"this isn't a date fit — it's a 'we should talk' fit. the shoes filed a missing persons report on your ankles."
  • savage level — gentle to nuclear
  • one-word verdict, frame-worthy
  • brutal truth + the receipts
  • signed: the roast desk.
the wall

every fit. on record.

a continuously scrolling wall of recent verdicts. names changed. ratings real. roast levels honest.

solid
💋 date
7.4
/10

"clean, but you're playing defense."

✿ coach14:22
legendary
☕ interview
9.1
/10

"this is the fit they remember after the answers."

✿ coach18:40
tragic
✿ casual
3.8
/10

"the shoes filed a missing persons report on your ankles."

🔥 roast16:50
sharp
💋 date
8.4
/10

"all-black is a statement, not a personality. you got both."

✿ coach21:03
bold
✿ casual
6.5
/10

"mustard is a vibe. you wore it like a verdict."

✿ coach11:20
mid
💼 work
4.1
/10

"the office knows you're trying. the office doesn't know what."

🔥 roast09:15
iconic
💼 work
8.7
/10

"meeting won before you opened your laptop."

✿ coachapr 18
bold
💋 date
5.5
/10

"bold is a compliment. this is a different word."

🔥 roastapr 14
solid
💋 date
7.4
/10

"clean, but you're playing defense."

✿ coach14:22
legendary
☕ interview
9.1
/10

"this is the fit they remember after the answers."

✿ coach18:40
tragic
✿ casual
3.8
/10

"the shoes filed a missing persons report on your ankles."

🔥 roast16:50
sharp
💋 date
8.4
/10

"all-black is a statement, not a personality. you got both."

✿ coach21:03
bold
✿ casual
6.5
/10

"mustard is a vibe. you wore it like a verdict."

✿ coach11:20
mid
💼 work
4.1
/10

"the office knows you're trying. the office doesn't know what."

🔥 roast09:15
iconic
💼 work
8.7
/10

"meeting won before you opened your laptop."

✿ coachapr 18
bold
💋 date
5.5
/10

"bold is a compliment. this is a different word."

🔥 roastapr 14
pricing

free to try.
cheap to keep.

three free fits a month, on the house. or unlimited everything for less than a bad oat-milk latte.

the warm-up
$0
three fits a month. no card. no excuses.
  • 3 fit checks per month
  • coach & roast modes
  • rating + brutal truth
  • the closet — saved fits & history
  • unlimited fit checks
  • first dibs on what's next
start free
no card. no email tricks.
↘ best valuethe full receipts
$2.99/mo
or $19.99/yr — that's $1.67/mo. save ~44%.
  • unlimited fit checks
  • coach & roast — every mode
  • the closet — saved fits & history
  • first dibs on new modes & drops
  • support a tiny team
  • cancel whenever — no drama
go pro — $2.99/mo
$19.99/yr · cancel anytime
things people ask

questions, asked honestly.

Q · 01

does it actually hurt?

you pick the vibe: coach is honest-but-helpful, roast is front-page ruthless. the savagery dials itself in based on the fit — sometimes a 2-flame eye-roll, sometimes a 5-flame cease-and-desist. it's a comedy column, not a clinic.

Q · 02

what about my photos?

straight up: your photo goes to our servers (AWS S3) and an AI model (OpenAI GPT-4 Vision) reads it to write the verdict. it isn't used to train anything. it isn't posted anywhere. you can delete it from the closet any time.

Q · 03

is it just vibes?

no. every verdict comes with a rating, an occasion read, a color palette + harmony score, item-by-item notes, and a list of fixes you can actually do. the vibes are just the wrapper.

Q · 04

can i show my friends?

screenshots are absolutely encouraged — group chats live for this. a built-in share card is on the list, not in the app yet.

Q · 05

what if it's wrong?

then it's wrong. it's an opinion, not a court ruling. snap a clearer photo, try the other mode, or take the L — sometimes the shoes really were loud.

Q · 06

where can i get it?

iOS and android, both live. links up top. one tap, free to start, three fits a month on the house.

drop the pic.
get the receipts.

your group chat is too kind. your mirror is too forgiving. we are neither.

xo. brutalcoach.